Enlightenedness

Consider what it means to live a life that truly feels right, a life that is genuinely yours. Consider that a profound sense of liberation and well-being – what some might call enlightenment – isn’t a mystical state reserved for a few. It’s the result of conscious choices and a particular way of interacting with yourself and the world around you. At its core are the concepts of self-appreciation, self-acceptance, and the recognition that happiness is always available.

The Illusion of External Security

Many people believe that security comes from external factors, such as money, friends, or stable relationships. However, I’ve found that there is no such thing as “security” in a tangible sense; it is merely a notion or a sensation of safety. Money doesn’t provide security, nor do friends. For instance, a person could have billions of dollars and still die at a young age, demonstrating that wealth does not guarantee safety.

For women, the craving for security is a fundamental one, often leading them to believe they must conform to societal rules to obtain it, even if it means appearing to follow others’ rules or making sex available for a perceived value of security. My work aims to help women realize that their security can only come from themselves. Similarly, a man does not become truly free until he overcomes his fear of disapproval from people he doesn’t admire and realizes that his security, too, must come from what he does for himself. The closest thing to genuine security is knowing what you can do for yourself to stay afloat and inspiring others to help you in return if needed.

Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence: The Inner Mirror

Self-esteem is how you estimate or appraise yourself, how you envision or regard your own worth. Self-confidence, on the other hand, is what you have demonstrated or proven to yourself through experience and effort. When your self-esteem and self-confidence are appropriately lofty and matched, you achieve self-satisfaction. This means you genuinely feel that you have “arrived” and are the person you ought to be.

Genuine confidence cannot be faked. Faked confidence often comes across as hubris or arrogance, and people, especially women, can sense how you truly feel about yourself from across a room. The most impressive thing a person can be is simply themselves, confidently. This is because it demonstrates that your own opinion of yourself is more important to you than what others think.

A significant barrier to building genuine self-confidence and self-esteem is the ego. Your ego is a process in your mind that primarily exists to defend itself and your preconceived notions, fearing embarrassment and anything that might diminish its perceived image. It often tries to talk you out of new experiences or attempts for fear of potential “failure” or looking bad to others. Mastering your ego involves recognizing it as a separate entity, not you, and learning to dismiss its fear-driven shouts. It’s about accepting that you cannot progress or improve without risking failure.

Personal Success: A Journey of Self-Satisfaction

The modern understanding of “success” has been corrupted. Originally, a “success” simply meant an outcome of an attempt. Every attempt, whether it yields a desirable or undesirable result, is a “success” in this original sense. The only true “failure” is the failure to make an attempt.

To achieve what I call existential enlightenedness (or “enlightenedness,”), you must be simultaneously happy on a self-sustaining basis and self-satisfied. This state is not dependent on external circumstances; one can be happy despite challenging situations. It’s about being on the right track and consistently progressing, rather than having arrived at a final destination.

When you feel good about yourself and are genuinely happy, you radiate enlightenedness. This inherent state is incredibly compelling and attractive to others, drawing people towards you because they feel good in your presence. Moreover, it’s essential to understand that life is not a zero-sum game. Your happiness and self-satisfaction do not come at the expense of others; everyone can win simultaneously.

The Choice of Happiness

One of the most important insights is that happiness is always a choice. It is an internal state, not something you acquire from external sources. Conversely, suffering is always optional and never obligatory, even when experiencing physical pain. By consciously choosing happiness, you empower yourself regardless of external circumstances.

My personal philosophy on life can be summed up in my mission statement: “I exist to enjoy the rewards of my best efforts”. This embodies enlightened self-interest, where doing good things for others ultimately makes you feel good about yourself, creating a win-win scenario.

Authenticity in Relationships

There is no battle of the sexes; the perceived conflict between men and women is a “framing problem” stemming from negative cultural biases. Instead, by adopting an attitude of non-judgmental acceptance and transparency, you can foster healthier relationships.

A core principle is to never lie to women. While tact and diplomacy are important, being genuinely direct and forthright about who you are builds trust and respect. My experience has shown that relationships that last are those that “require no work,” much like a good friendship, because both parties are clear about their needs and boundaries.

A powerful way to engage with others is to be disarming, which means passively communicating that you are not trying to take from them or persuade them, but simply to enjoy their company and connect. This involves being genuinely interested in them as individuals and what they find interesting, rather than viewing them as a target or prey. By demonstrating this genuine interest, you become incredibly attractive.

My work also focuses on emancipating women from societal programming that instills guilt and shame around their natural desires and choices, particularly concerning sexuality. By offering non-judgmental acceptance and helping them recognize that doing what they want doesn’t equate to lacking self-respect, men can help liberate women from a tyranny they may not even realize they are under.

Living Your Own Rules

Ultimately, personal liberation comes from shedding the need for external validation and societal scripts. This involves becoming an independent – someone whose validation comes exclusively from the outcomes of their own reasoned decisions. It means living a life based on your own reason, thinking things through until they make sense to you, considering ethical implications, and then trying it if it feels right. This process is known as reasoned confidence.

A key aspect of this is managing expectations:

• Of yourself: Only expect what you can realistically demonstrate through your best efforts now. Expecting more guarantees self-disappointment.
• Of others: Do not allow others to project their expectations onto you. Clearly communicate who you are and what to expect from you.
• Of other people’s behavior: Do not take their actions personally, as they are often rooted in their own cultural paradigms or fears.

The principle “I would never do anything I wouldn’t do” is central to avoiding regret and embarrassment. Embarrassment, when it is truly felt, stems from doing something you know you shouldn’t have done, not from others’ disapproval.

My intention in these insights is to empower everyone to become “manu missionaries” – to liberate others from limiting beliefs and needless suffering. By embracing self-appreciation, self-acceptance, choosing happiness, managing expectations, and building confidence through your own demonstrated capabilities, you embark on a path of continuous growth and satisfaction, becoming the person you truly choose to be.